6 Attractions That Just Don’t Belong

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There are a handful of attractions that get shoehorned into WDW here and there and it bugs me. If they want to preach story, story, story, than make sure it is consistent. I’m not saying these are bad attractions (necessarily), I’m simply arguing that they are out of place where they are currently located. Obviously, they will never be moved, but I just needed to get this out of my head.

Tomorrowland Speedway

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In 1955, perhaps traveling by car was futuristic, so Disneyland put Autopia in Tomorrowland. By 1971, travel by car was no longer a distant dream, it was a present reality, but the company still chose Tomorrowland as the “land” best suited for the Speedway. Whether it is the Indy Speedway, or the Tomorrowland Speedway, it simply doesn’t belong. I would even argue that it really doesn’t belong in the Magic Kingdom at all.

Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor

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How in the world did this make it through the “theme testers.” Imagineering does have these don’t they? People who check to see if an attraction, show, restaurant, etc. fits the theme of where they are planning to put it. I’m not saying it’s a bad attraction, it just doesn’t belong in Tomorrowland. At best, in my opinion, it should be in Hollywood Studios over on Pixar Place. While I may not agree with the direction DHS is heading, this seems to be the most logical place for it.

it’s a small world

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I know, this might be Disney fan blasphemy, but it really doesn’t make sense in Magic Kingdom. I see this at the gateway to World Showcase in Epcot, maybe where the old Odyssey Restaurant building sits. The World’s Fair-like feel of the park is a perfect fit for this attraction. When you really think about it, what message are they sending by putting an attraction about world unity in Fantasyland. Is world unity and peace just a fantasy? I hope not. Put it over in Epcot, it would add a headliner to a part of Epcot that needs one, and helps solidify the message of Epcot.

Splash Mountain

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Anyone who has studied Liberty Square/Frontierland knows that the “story” progresses in chronological order as you move down the street as well as the guest makes their way from east to west across the USA. Splash Mountain, however, is smack dab in the middle of the wild west, when the Uncle Remus stories are set in the deep south of America during Civil War Reconstruction. It is out of place and time. Again, a great attraction, but out of place.

Rockin’ Roller Coaster

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Aerosmith. That’s all.

Seriously, though, this is smack dab at the end of a beautifully themed Sunset Blvd in DHS right next to arguably the most well-themed attraction in all WDW. An attraction that has a mid 90’s storyline, a washed up rock band, and one of the worst building exteriors this side of Disney Studios Paris. I will touch on this in a future post, but this attraction should be blocked off from Sunset and the entrance should be moved to over near the Animation Courtyard in some way. More details on that later. Don’t get me wrong, I really, really like the ride. I’m not a coaster guy, but this one is one of my favorites.

Carousel of Progress

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I know why it’s here, progress and all that, but right now it simply doesn’t fit with Tomorrowland, although arguably, nothing in TL fits. Like it’s a small world, I feel like this is more like an Epcot attraction. I would love this at the base of Spaceship Earth, the message of progress extended from SE into the rotating theater. Remember, this is from the ’64 World’s Fair and Epcot was intended in some ways to be like a permanent World’s Fair.

Maybe these are crazy, and as stated above, I realize that these will never happen, but I really wish they could. Disney used to dominate themed entertainment, but lately, I think they’ve gotten a bit sloppy with keeping things consistent within a theme.

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Other companies are catching up and if the Disney company is not careful, they will find themselves playing catch-up, especially to a certain boy wizard. They are willing to take risks and make bold moves, like clearing out signature attractions (Jaws) to make way for hugely popular new attractions. The Walt Disney Company, at least the parks department plays it safe.

They have become like a football team who is winning a game comfortably, and so chooses to run the ball and become less aggressive in order to preserve the win, only to see it slip away as the other team takes risks, throws the ball, and marches into the end zone for score after score.

That’s the way I see it.

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